Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Guest Post by The Fur Littles

Lil'boy Al and Pugnatious P
Whath-up peeps! Thisth is Pugnatious P and Lil’boy Al, we are Mama-B’s PR Firm, The Fur Littles. We want to tell yous a bit about what the Mama-B has been up to regarding tha’ mosth rethent manuthcript: The Legend of Lady MacLeod.

See thith isth how it goeth. Lady and a dude fall in love a bajillion years ago, but they can’t to the humpity cause they ain’t married. So’s they’s decide let’s run away togetha, only problem is she’th already betrothed. To bad, she says and runs away with her boy. Well only prolem is tha’s she’s a Scot-ash chieftain's daughter and her daddy didn’t look to highly on the runnin’s away she was doin’ so he killed her dude - made her watch even - and then killed all the dude’s men and all his shiz. So’s it’th underthtandable that when she died in childbirth her last uttered wordth were mean. Real mean. So mean that she thort of got carried away and cursed the shiz outta her daddy. The curse was so strong that it stuck ta every single one of the clan chiefs, only ta be broken when one of thosth clan cheifths felt the pain that she had. Stho it was a long time, I mean long time. I mean stho long that it’s still present day and tha’ shiz still gots problems. And tha’s where Mama-B’s story comes in.

You ever heard of lil’ Blond Girl Ridding through the forestht? You know how she just skips along unknowingly coming across a big bad wolfy? Same thing. ‘cept the Blond Girl ain’t blond and sheths, well, smarter. See, as Mama-B putts it, the main character Nicole - but we all call her Cole - see her grandpappy died and when he did he left without splain’in a few things. First was how come bloodlines they’s were a family called Minary but everybody knew they’s were Bakers. And the secondsies was who the frackin’ heck wasth thisth Minary dude? Where’d he come from?? Mars? ... No Lil’boy Al he’sth didn’t come from the kibble bowl. Hush up... Where wasth I? Oh yeath. So she takes off for Scotty-town to find out, and boy what doesth she find there?? Lot’s a shizth. Cursesth and shiz.

Then there’s thisth dude, and he’s a clan chieftain in Scotty-town, histh name is Rowan. Yup, like Rowan Oak. And he’s been livin’ with thisth curse and he’s dark. I’m talkin’ turn out the lights you’re in a cave dark, so dark you gotta carry a flashlight, know-what-I’m-sayin? Okay so he’s not all that dark, well okay he is but he has a little light, tiny, small, incandecenst... shiz where am goin’ with thisth? Oh yea, well they meet on the izland of Skye in Scotty-town. And he’sth curthed, everybody in the wholes dang place knows that story, but he especially since he’sth livin’ fo’real righ’? Well up-and-atom one day and what happenth??? Shiiiiz, this pretty thing crosses paths withs him and he goes WHOA, whodat?? Only problem is he’s curthed and he’sth got PTSD. Sorta, well’s to be fair he’s gots some bad mojo from the war when he was wit the Royal Air Forces in the Uty-K.

What it all cometh down to folks is thisth: adventurth, cursesth, gunsth, love, smarty-pants momentsth, and a real good time. You’ll like it. Tell your friendsth to look for it early 2011 online at their local Amazon Kindle store.

Peas Out!

Puggy-P and Lil’boy Al

Monday, August 16, 2010

How Much is that Book in the Window...

Books.
Short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, long ones, paperback, hardback, UV coated, 12 pt. font size.

I had a speed learning course in book printing yesterday... and I'm still learning. For example, in the last book you read did you notice the width of the margins? So much so you could recall if they were .25 or .5 inches?

At one point John, my purveyor of book printing world, was showing me the millionth thing that I could alter which was, "Do you know what kind of font you'd like it to be in?"
I looked at the book samples he brought, "Um does it matter?" I asked thinking who would give a shit between Times New Roman and Helvetica? "I mean if people are paying more attention to the type of font I've used... I've failed as an author. No one should be that bored reading a book."

Next steps are to get a quote so we can see how much self-publishing will cost...

Anyone care to wagger what 10,000 books will cost?
Whatever the number is, I'm sure a strong drink chaser will be necessary.

Ciao.
B-Money

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Old School

I ask you this: when was the last time you wrote by hand? Recently? Like your grocery list? Or maybe your things to do list? Or the brief colorful memo to your coworker? Sure, you've used your writing skills recently... now I ask, when was the last time you wrote eight pages by hand?

Yesterday, I found myself standing in the road looking into my car wondering where the hell I'd left my laptop, cause I sure didn't have it with me. Of course after I calmed down realizing that it'd not been stolen but was simply still waiting by the door at home for me, I began to wonder what I was to do with the hour I had for my lunch writing session. That last sentence should surprise you. Because I was at work, and what I have tons of at work is paper and pens. So, once my wits came back I did things old school.

Every writer is different but in my case writing by hand works too slowly for my mind, only typing can keep up with the scenes whizzing from my brain into my fingers to be quickly typed in. Not to mention it's much easier come editing time because you don't have that extra (painful) step of transcribing the manuscript. However, I found that writing by hand slowed me down, let my mind mull over the actions of my characters and set the scenes up at the right pace for this final piece of the book. The ending to Legend has a lot of pieces culminating together and the slower I write allows for my mind to stitch together all those pieces and place well spoken words to the page.

It was beautiful, so beautiful that I wrote by hand again today. And if I were a waxing romantic I'd say that I'll write by hand for the rest of this book – but that'd be a lie. Transcribing is truly a b-i-t-c-h, and one I don't want to mess with more than necessary. So tomorrow, I'm back to the future... that is unless I forget my laptop again.

For those of you who are in Portland, this weekend is the second annual NW Book Festival downtown in Pioneer Square.

Good enin' and Happy Hump Day!
-SpankyB

Monday, August 2, 2010

And the winner is....

After much deliberations, arm wrestling, accusatory finger-pointing, and postulating on how it could be done better, number 5 was chosen.

Thanks everyone for your feedback!

Now it's off to finish the final scenes for Legend involving kidnap and shootings. Wee!

Happy Monday.